Out of my Mind

I am so angry.

Tonight we met friends at Stray Dog for dinner, local place right over the tracks. We leave the restaurant around 8, heading home, me pushing the double stroller, the boys just wanting to see a train at the tracks. We get over the tracks, stop to cross Whittaker, wait our turn, then proceed, this car starts towards us, I just stand my ground. Probably sounds pretty dumb now, but we were clearly in the right of way, and it was totally light out. We are right in front of a very popular ice cream hang out, that is packed. This car does not stop. So I stand there, my two boys in the stroller, I was starting to get ticked. Then this KID driver flips me off. He is still moving towards me. Now I am not moving. He finally stops, because he has no where else to go, I am standing 2 feet from the front of his car. That is when I say to him, 'how old are you?' He replies '19.' I wanted to jump in his car and pull his freaking face through his ass. But I didn't, I just stood there. He had traffic backed up, we are on the main drag of town, you know. I am so mad. He tells me in so many words to move my stroller. I just stand there. Then he flips me off again and backs up and takes off down the side street. I hear in the back ground , 'you go Donna', I swear I felt like I was in a Flashdance repeat, you know where the locals take on the other town. I am home 2 hours later, and still pissed off.

We live here in this resort town, I grew up in Indiana, lived in Chicago for many years. Now I live in Mayberry. The locals don't like the FIPS (Freaking Indiana People, or Freaking Illinois People) I have tried to be nice. I came from both places. But I might just be turning into a local Michigan person, I think ...

Happy 4th of July

Happy Day,

I am on my new lap top that my husband bought me, the boys are playing trains, trucks, bikes and cars in the driveway and my husband is cooking. Do I have anything to complain about, uuuuuh no. And he just brought me out another glass of champagne! I love summer. We were at the pool all day yesterday, even in the rain. We had such a good time, the boys love the water! Evan has always been a big fan, but this year Nick is like a little fish too. He was potty trained last weekend, God Bless my mother! So he loves to pee everywhere, everywhere. Which is fine with me. Little did I know that last week when I purchased diapers, it would be my last time. Maybe I would have had the clerk at Walgreens take my picture or something! Wow, but just the thought of the extra 40 a month, hmmmmm, what fund should that go into ... college, swimming pool, private schools, beer , probably beer. I'm just so happy for him, and he is so proud!!!!!!! He is big like Evan, and that is all that matters in his little world. I love these boys!

Happy 4th of July

Nick in the pool

Summer is finally here and we have Nick in the pool. Last year he was afraid of the water, this year he wanted to get in, well with a little help from us. He did need his wings, this his noodle, then his gobbles. But he loves it now. We are so happy, because Evan would live in the pool if we would let him! We love Rocky's pool!

Last night I was downstairs on my computer, I was just getting ready to head to bed, when Nick lets out this scream! And what is he screaming? NO EVAN. Poor kid, Evan is even picking on him while he is asleep! Then Evan tells me this morning that someone had a frightful dream last night, right because of you!

my birthday

We went out for dinner last night with my parents. The boys were so excited because Grammie and PaPa were here. They were filithy from the day, so I gave them a quick wipe down, changed their clothes and we were off. We had such a nice weekend for my birthday. The weather was great. Diane and Conrad came up, got to spend lots of time with great friends. We went to the worlds largest flag day parade with Mary Fran and Terry. That was a hoot. I had the kids all dressed in red, white and blue. Every float was throwing out candy, Evan loved it. Nick met a little girl and sat with her during most of the parade, just like no big deal mom.

Evan is in vacation bible camp this week, he loves it. When I picked him up yesterday and was asking him questions, the first thing he wanted to tell me was that there were no girls in his class, just boys. But we played trucks. I never know with that one, what he is going to say next. Took him to the Dr. yesterday, he passed his hearing test, now he is all ready for pre-school. The Dr. mentions how he was not shy at all, not most of the time. This kid never is quiet.

Gotta run, need to go and pick him up.

My little Nicky

These pictures were taken back in March. We were celebrating Nick's Gotcha Day. Two years already that he was placed in our arms forever, seems like a million years ago. We made red velvet cup cakes that day, as you can see the boys were quite excited. Anything with sugar!

Nick came home as such a quiet little guy, I really thought he was going to be quite reserved and shy. BOY, OH BOY, was I wrong. He is the total instigator. The boys go down for naps at 2:00 each day. Evan has been a great nap taker for me most of the time, he sometimes screams his head off, but he will not get out of his bed and he used to always take a nap. Until, little brother Nick started sleeping in a toddler bed. There is no keeping that kid in a bed, unless he is exhausted. So I put them down, and Nick will pretend that he is tired and even close his eyes when I leave the room. Most days before I am all the way downstairs, I hear his fast little footsteps down the hallway to Evan's room. It is only about 15 steps, but the way he runs, in such a fast stride, I can always hear him. So the other day, I heard him go into Evan's room and I heard them playing and laughing. I had told them before nap time, that if they did not nap, we were not going to go to the library that day. They love to go to the library. So I go up the first time, Nick is standing in Evan's room, Evan heard me coming down the hall, he has jumped back in bed by now. But Nick is standing there jumping like he is on a trampoline, jeez. I march him down the hall, tell him to take a nap. He starts to cry and tell me why he does not want to take a nap, he tells me over and over and over. I head back downstairs. I hear Nick on his little flight down the hallway. So Evan starts yelling at Nick telling him to take a nap, I can hear all of this from downstairs. Nick just keeps yelling NO back at Evan. Then Evan yells down to me that Nick will not take a nap. He yells this over and over and over and over. So I march up the stairs to make sure my footsteps are heard this time. Evan in still yelling. I open his door and say, 'what is going on in here?' Like I don't know??? Evan's eyes are as big as saucers, he has the blankets pulled all the way up to his chin. He says to me, 'Nick will not take a nap.' I say that he does not need to worry about Nick, he just needs to go to sleep. He looks up at me and says, 'but look!' He pulls down the covers and there is Nick, laying up against him with the biggest grin on his face! I swear, I was trying to act mad, but those boys. Nick is going to be a holy terror!!!!!

Now they are coming downstairs from a nap that they did not take! They always come up to me and tell me what a nice nap they had, especially Nick. I would love to have a video cam in Evan's bedroom, just to watch them. So no naps today, that means cranky later and early to bed. Fine with me.

Evan wants to watch a movie, I tell him under on condition, 'what is a condition' he says. I tell him that he has to do something for me, but that I will give him a hint. It starts with a H, which is the hhhh sound, and ends with a G, which in the gggg sound. He yells out 'MOVIE.' Not quite. So they are watching a Thomas Christmas movie!

Is it Spring?

I think it might just be Spring. Trying not to get too excited, I did still have the boys in double layers at the park today. I rode my bike to the park today with one of those carts things on the back, with both the boys in it, a bunch of toys, lunch and a blanket. I thought I was going to die!!! I have not been on my bike since 2 years ago! Holy crap. Mayberry is all hills. I was in the lowest gear possible and panting like a dog in heat. And Evan says, 'this is fun mommy, thanks for the bike ride'. Sure, no problem. I guess I should be teaching him CPR. Just in case he needs to be mommy's little helper. I was so afraid somebody was going to pull along side me and bust a gut laughing!!

I have no new pictures to post, I finally got my computer fixed and have not downloaded the camera stuff yet, I am behind already and it is not really even Spring.

It was all over the news today about that woman who kicked her 10 year old kid out of the car. I swear that was me yesterday! Except Evan is 4, we were not in downtown NY, and we were walking, but it was me. The boys wanted to go on a walk, ok, fine with me. Well Evan wanted to take his trike and Nick wanted to take his tractor. Fine with me. Half way into the walk, Evan decides he wants to take a different way, and he just takes off walking. Luckily at this area there were sidewalks. Most of Mayberry has no side walks, including our street. Anyway, I let him take off, Nick and I just keep going, and he got a little ways away, and I was behind this big pine tree, then he could not see me. Then he came running. But only came running because he was going to try and pull me in the direction that he wanted to go. Don't think so. Nick is just sitting there the whole time on his tractor. Evan is having a major meltdown. Also luckily for me, we were down by the railroad tracks, so not too many people around. So I just stood there. Then he decides that he wants to leave his trike. Fine with me too. So we start walking away, then he starts screaming that he wants his trike. Well, then go get it. Then he gets to his trike and decides to sit down and scream. oh geez. We finally got home. He said that he was sorry and that when he got home he wanted a Popsicle, sure you do. We came inside and the boys took a nap. So I can imagine that ladies frustration yesterday, but leaving her where she did, wow.

We spent a great weekend in Wabash for Greek Easter. Evan asked me when we got home, 'how come some people call Grammie Norma?' My mom, I thought that was so funny. Then he says just like you and daddy, Donna and Michael. right. So later, he tries to call me Donna, he wanted a cookie or something, 'Hey Donna, can you get me a cookie?' Don't think so.

I should nap while they are down, my body needs a really hot tub!

Happy St. Patty's Day

Happy St. Patty's Day, only 3 days late! I haven't even posted from our wonderful vacation yet, I think. I can't remember. The boys are watching Lighting McQueen on the big screen, their new favorite movie. I wonder if Thomas is going to get lost, I sure hope not.

I have been ordering pictures today, I found this site that has free shipping for the month, they only charge .08 cents per picture, but they nail you on the shipping, so this is a good deal. Site is www.clarkcolor.com. So I have been looking at old pictures, they are so sweet. I love it now how everything is so easy with a digital camera. But I still love the old fashioned way, where you actually get all your shots printed, even if they are just a mound of black hair. That's how half of my photos are, the boys always seem to move their heads. These posted today were taken on the 17th. I bought these shirts forever ago, they still don't really fit them, but I thought it would be cute for the holiday.

I have been singing the old song, 'I'd do anything for you Dear anything, for you Dear anything I'd do.' Remember that old song, my mom used to sing it to us. So I replace all the words and make all these silly sayings, and they always say do another one. So the other day I was singing in the kitchen and Evan comes up to me and says, 'mom, would you do anything for me?' I look at him, I am expecting him to say that he wants a cookie or something. I said that sure I would do anything for you. So he says, 'can you give me a hug?' How about a million of them? He is so sweet ... most of the time.

We went to see the doctor yesterday. Evan has been running a fever and both the boys have coal miners cough. So after we leave the doctor, Evan tells me that he saw 3 doctors today. I said, no you just went to one doctor. He quickly corrected me, 'the doctor that got me weighed (nurse), the doctor that looked in my ears (doctor) and the doctor who gave me the stickers (receptionist).'

Well, off to the kitchen. I am making BBQ chicken for dinner tonight, doesn't that sound exciting??

Hey mom ...

Hey mom have you ever seen an alligator play ping pong? That was Evan's question to me while we on vacation, well one of his questions. He has several everyday. Today he asked me if I had ever seen a bird wearing gloves?? Who knows how that brain of his works?

We had a great time on our vacation, Evan even told me that it was his best vacation ever! We went to the beach almost everyday, we were in the sun and warm weather everyday, it was so nice. I have tons of pictures to post, but I am using Mike's laptop, so that means no pictures. I will post some. We let the boys have ice cream everyday at lunch, they loved that. Nobody got sick on Aunt Sandy's brand new furniture, yeah. We got to spend lots of time with family, that was so nice. On our last morning there, Nick decided that he wanted to get up at 4 am. So I got up with him, turned on the TV, trying to find some kid friendly info-mercial, trying to keep him quiet for everyone else who was sleeping. I finally had him somewhat settled down, around 7:30ish, I heard foot steps upstairs. Then Scott came downstairs to let the dog out. He said 'good morning' to Nick and I. Nick heard his voice and thought it was Mike. So he starts yelling out for daddy, 'cause anyone who knows Nick, knows that he is a daddy's boy. Anyway, Uncle Scott says, 'no Nick it is not daddy, it is Uncle Scott'. That just made Nick madder. He heard that Messinger voice and he wanted his dad. Scott had to come over to the couch where there was more light, and talk to Nick so that Nick could see him, so that he could see it was not daddy. wow.

We had such a good stay, needless to say, I did not want to come home to cold Mayberry. But I did, we are getting used to the cold weather again. Now just hoping and praying for sunshine. Evan wants to get back out in his sandbox so bad. We will get there.

I will post again, when I can put some pictures on.

Mom did you know ... 2

Today, mom did you know that sometimes a mouse can go right through the wall without hitting anything? No I did not know that.

We played flash light hide-n-seek again tonight. Evan had been asking to play since about noon. Looking out the window at 5 PM, it was still light out, and I was so excited, getting closer to summer and more daylight. Yeah. So after dinner, we played hide-n-seek. Just goes to show you that kids always just like the simplest things, a 50 cent flashlight and playing with mom and dad.

We had MOPS today, it was the best. It was SPA day, how nice. First we went to a chocolate fountain with all this food to dip in it, then to a massage, then to a manicure, then visiting time, then a craft. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I actually felt kinda guilt having so much fun, but then I thought, this is supposed to be my time. My kids are happy, I am enjoying time with wonderful women, I just need to enjoy. So that is what I did. I let the boys have chocolate after class, they loved that.Then we went home and unleashed the sandbox for the first time this year. The boys managed to find some water and they had a great time. They were covered in dirt and very happy. I made them come in the house at 3, tried to feed them some lunch, but they were pretty tired. Then naps and up and waiting for daddy to come home from work. All is good at the Messingers!!

Hey mom did you know ???

That is the way most of Evan's conversations are with me lately. Everything he says starts with 'hey mom did you know?' Luckily at this point, I can answer most anything he asks. Today he wanted to know if I knew that sometimes elephants wear gloves, no I did not know that. Or hey mom did you know that Gordon is bigger and faster than Thomas? Yes, I knew that one. Hey mom did you know that if you eat the snow it tastes like candy, no I did not know that one either. He has a statement or a question about everything all day long.

Yesterday while reading to him, he stops me and tells me that 'zoo' spells zoo. He just tells me like that, I was happy and sad all in the same moment. Happy that my little guy is learning, but sad that he is growing up too fast.

Then today he announces to me that he needs to 'poop.' Ok, here we go. I start to follow him into the bathroom for the normal routine. He tells me quite frankly that he needs some privacy. Oh, sorry. He moves the step over to turn on the light, then he sits his little potty lifter thing on the toilet and he does his business. I walk into the other room, in 2 seconds he is right behind me announces that he is 'done.' Very happy with himself. Again, I am happy and sad in the same moment. Sad that my little guy is growing up and happy that I don't have to wipe his little butt much longer!!

I should make a note about little Nick. He is sleeping in his bed. Yeah. Well at least until about 4 am. Then he comes into our room and stands there until I wake up and see those huge brown eyes, he is always standing there with Teddy and his blanket. I ask him if he wants to get into bed, and he always does. Except last night, I woke up to him climbing up the side of my bed, then kinda doing a half flip over me, plopped right in between Mike and I and he was out cold. He hates to have covers over him, so he lays in between Mike and I, on top of the covers. So then it is impossible to roll over, pull the covers up, anything. So I just get up and come downstairs, make coffee, get on the computer, whatever.

The boys have been in bed since 8 o'clock and I can still hear Nick running around upstairs. The boys have always loved to play hide-n-seek. We play in the house and Nick normally just follows someone around, but Evan really gets into it, they love to play. The other night Evan says, 'let's turn out all the lights and use our flashlights and play.' Ok. I had purchased these tiny little flashlights for a birthday party gift bag, and the boys love to play with them. So we turn out all the lights, and everyone gets a tiny little flashlight. When mom or dad are it, Evan hides and Nick just stays with mom or dad. When Evan is it, mom and dad try to hide and Nick gives us away every time. He just walks around with his flashlight on and talking, it is so funny. We have this big closet in the kitchen where I keep the sweeper. One of these days, I am going to take that sweeper out when nobody knows, hide it upstairs or something, and then hide in there, they will never find me!! This summer will be fun, I can see us playing this game outside! Oh we are in for a ride, I can see it now. And I love it!!

It is raining out, isn't it still winter??

No pictures thankfully ...

I have showered twice since 2 pm today.

Can anyone guess what I did that made me shower twice in one day, when some days I don't get a shower at all.

Give up? I ... gulp ... climbed ... up the ... I feel lunch coming up ... playland thing at McDonalds today!

If you ever want to be creeped out, step inside one of those things. Took the boys there today after MOPS, Evan tells me during lunch that he is not climbing to the top because it is too scary. Fine with me. I'm not climbing in that nasty thing either, so I thought. Evan decides after wolfing down 4 McNuggets that he is Superman, and goes straight to the top. So after yelling at him from the bottom for 10 minutes, Nick decides to just go up and see what is going on in there. Bad idea. I don't know if he got scared, realized just how ucky it was in there, saw a giant rat, or what, but he started crying. Minor at first, I heard a faint cry, kinda like I do most days. But then it grew louder and Evan was at my feet to explain that Nicky was stuck. So I was looking up this tube thing and the lady that works there, same lady as last year when Evan got stuck. She says to me, 'you can go up there and get him.' 'Yeah, I know, I just don't want too.' He continues to cry, Evan goes up and tries to drag him down, no luck. So with great hesitation I started up the tube. Who know who caught it all on their dreaded cell phone, it will probably be on you-tube next week, labeled 'Giant mom is having too much fun at McDonalds.' When I started, I just went fast, I was afraid if I stopped, we would be leaving Nick at McDonalds. So I am half way up this thing, when I get plowed over by about 3 little kids. I am like geeze, you can't see me in here, you can't hear my kid? Bunch of hill runners. I got Nick down, he calmed down as soon as he was out. I am wiping his nose and he says to me, 'that was fun mommy.' Sure it was.

Thankfully we have no pictures.

4

Ear;y this morning Evan jumped in bed with me and said, 'mom am I still four?'

I think he likes being four.

Janurary 15, 2009

So today Evan turned 4.

How in the hell did that happen?

I can remember sitting at this exact computer and staring at his photo when he was still in Guatemala. I remember thinking if I just stare at it long enough he will move. I remember July 16, 2005 like it was yesterday. Waiting in the hotel room for him, we didn't know what he would be like, we were just waiting for him. I remember waking up that next morning, after not really sleeping much, just checking to make sure he was breathing all night. He just looked over the crib and we put him right in bed with us. I remember dressing him so wrong. Taking everything that was 3 sizes too big, not ever putting socks or shoes on him, which is total taboo in Guatemala. Who knew? Not me. I just wanted to hold him next to me and look. I just wanted to touch his skin and feel his breath in my ear. I remember giving him a bath, we of course have it on video, and he slipped in my hands. I was sitting on the wet floor, with a new baby, who was squirming, and he just kinda slipped. Not that anything happened, but I remember watching that video when we came home, because we did not have kids yet, so that is what we did. And now when I think of that it makes me laugh. We watched that video over and over. I remember that dreadful morning when Mike went down at 6 am to get coffee and the foster family was already there to pick him up. Mike came back to the room and he looked like he had seen a ghost. Evan was still asleep. So Mike filmed more of him, just sleeping. We had to wake him up, get him dressed, get all of his new clothes packed ... and give him back. Back to a foster family that I knew loved him, but I wanted to love him. I did not want someone else taking care of my little guy. Mike and I cried so hard. It was so hard coming home. I had taken 5 rolls of film, back in the old days when you actually used a 35 mm camera. I developed them all, paid the extra to get them back in one hour. Took all 135 photos with me everywhere that I went. Showed them to everyone. Explained to them about each outfit, and why he was sleeping in this photo or that photo. He didn't do much at six months. But I looked at those pictures and my friends were kind enough to look with me and let me cry. And cry I did. Seems like I couldn't stop.

Wow.

Seems like a million years ago. Now I have a four year old little boy. Who talks non-stop. Who tells me everyday 'I love you little mama'. Who fights with his brother. Who wants to only have chocolate milk. Who loves and loves to play Thomas the Train. Who wants to know how the snow got on the ground. Who wants to know if I have ever been in a submarine. Who loves his daddy. Who helped me make his chocolate cake today.

Wow.

How lucky are we?

I love you little Evan.

Things are getting higher and higher around here ...

See that last picture I posted of my little angel Nick! He is such a little ... well I had better not say on here. I am moving everything up, up, up. He gets into everything. Today I printed something, then turned off my printer, to go to the bank. But I failed to take out the paper loader of my printer, that was enough for him. When I came home, I did not leave the boys alone, Mike was here. I turned my printer back on, I wanted to print a picture of my little angels. It would not print, kept saying paper jam. I just used it. So I get down on the floor, now that in itself is a chore. I am looking into the paper thingy, thinking I am going to have to take this stupid printer apart and then it will never work again. Then I am thinking, holy crap, I will have to buy a new printer. Then I see something in there, hmmmn. I go and get a flashlight and a glass of wine. So I am down on all fours, both boys are climbing on my back, saying 'what are you doing mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy????? At least it was not a peanut butter sandwich jammed in there, it was 4 ink pens! In this tiny little tray thing, how did he get those in there? And how am I going to get them out? I finish the glass of wine. Then I get a wooden spoon and attach a piece of scotch tape on the end and very gently get the tape on the pen, so I can pull it out and not push them further in. Eeee gads. I swear this kid gets in everything. He pulls things off that Evan would not even think of! And then he just gives you this grin, I will post that grin.

More wine please!

Happy New Year 2009

I have not posted in so long, the holidays were busy around here, and I wanted to get to it, and then something always gets in the way.

We finally removed our Christmas tree just yesterday. I'm not sure who was sadder me or Evan. It was our prettiest tree ever. It almost touched the ceiling and it was just beautiful. Now it is outside on our deck, it snowed a bit last night, so it looks just as pretty outside. Not to mention the fact that Mike and I made homemade bird food, coated it on pine cones and strung it on the tree for the birds. It should create much activity for the animals once they can get at it. We have about 8 inches of snow on the deck. The tree is right outside Nick's window too, he is starting to get better about his monster/hedgehog thing. So he will be hearing the critters and even be more afraid. This thing about being in his room alone, just started about 4 weeks ago, I guess when I stopped blogging. He would not stay in his room, he claimed there were monsters or hedgehogs in his room. We are through it I think, he has slept in his room the last 5 nights. He must have his overhead light on and the hall light. So it is quite bright, but at least he is sleeping. Here is a picture of him in our bed, this is what Mike and I would find every night when we would go to bed.

Now I need to run to the bank before they close.